Blended Family LinkUp: The 21st Century Family

Leaving a Legacy through Blended Families

This month, let’s celebrate the blended family and how stepfamilies are working together to leave positive legacies for their children. And how they exemplify the Family of God.

But First Our Featured Post from June

It’s appropriate, being the 4th of July, to share Kim Turner McCauley’s post, I’m a Soldier’s Mom.

I love our military and appreciate all they and their families sacrifice to keep us safe. If you missed Kim’s post, please take a moment to go read it.

And Now … My Blended Family

Things have changed drastically since I was a child. I grew up in a traditional family with  5 siblings all from the same two parents. From the time my oldest brother started school to when my youngest brother attended high school, society changed from families having two parents and lots of kids to lots of parents having a few kids. While this adds an extra challenge to the picture, families can be successful in leaving a wonderful legacy for their children. 

Grafted in the Family

While we did have a traditional family, our home had an open door policy. Visitors came from the city and from faraway nations to visit the farm. Some stayed a short time; others became a part of the family.

This opened all our hearts to love everyone no matter their race or socioeconomic status. Five of the six of us siblings, at one time or another, welcomed step or foster children or adopted children from nearly every race. You can read this story on my memoirs blog, Grafted Into the Family.

As for myself, when I married, I found myself grafted into a blended family that took me in as their own. My husband lost his first wife and daughter in a car accident and was left raising two young boys, 9 and 14. The oldest had been adopted out of the foster system and the youngest was their biological child. Later, two children (a son and a daughter) joined the family.

A True 21st Century Blended Family

The beautiful part is that our family meshed together as one. The words “step” nor “half” never came into a conversation. Well, occasionally it did; to explain how a 28-year old mom had a 14-year-old son. 🙂

When I joined the family, the first question asked was would I adopt them. (That’s a story for another time). They immediately began calling me “Mom” and never turned back.

A Mom For Life

Now as adults, I have been their mom longer than any other. The boys always speak of me as their mom and the siblings as brother or sister. Our daughter-in-law can verify that Daniel thinks of me as Mom. Early in their marriage, she often heard things like, “Mom doesn’t do it that way.” LOL!

Our second son, Brian remembers me not only on Mother’s Day but on the anniversary of that terrible accident when he lost his mother. He sends me flowers with a note, “Thanks for being my Mom!”. A few days later (anniversary of when his big sister died) his little sister receives a gift with a note, “Thanks for being my sister.”

Oh! We did use the word “step” when referring to stairs. Brian wrote this post for me a while back about meeting my family. Icy Front Steps

I know in some ways, I had it a bit easier because there were no passing kids back and forth, two homes, two sets of rules, etc. etc. However, there was this “ghost” in the room that at times seemed to be more and more of a saint mom. In reality, I believe these thoughts were created in my mind. Often when I talked with other mothers of teens, I found that the issues my boys and I had were typical teen-mom problems.

My One Tip for Blended Families

Looking back, I’d say the best tip I would give is for parents to have a united front. This tip goes for any kind of family. Dad and Mom must back each other up. Don’t let the kids play you against each other.

My husband sat down with the boys when he and I got engaged. He spoke plainly with them and said, “Mandy will be your mother longer than your biological mother. What she says goes and I will back her up. Even if I don’t agree with her you will never see me disagree in front of you.” And he kept that promise. We might talk later and I might change my mind. But it would be me that made the changes.

Do you have a story to share or tips for blended families?

The following linkup is all about blended families. Please feel free to share your story or tips for blended families by linking your post below.

We would also love to see posts about the Family of God. We are all one family, joined together in love with the Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit. This link will be opened all month. Feel free to link up weekly, if you have more than one post on the topic. Of course, we hope that you will also read and share other posts. Thank you.

Did You Miss the Last Legacy Link-up?

You can still read them all by clicking through below.

Now, It’s Your Turn; Link-Up Time!

Add your post about the blended family and how stepfamilies are working together to leave positive legacies for their children. And how they exemplify the Family of God.

Mandy Farmer

Pastor’s Wife (retired) &  Chronic Pain Warrior blogs about how to make it through anything by relating her own life experiences to her writing. She is passionate about her love for the Lord and desires to spread that passion to others. She has a great desire to encourage women who are following behind her.

www.mandyandmichele.com